Chapter Twenty-Two
The Return
We made our way through the hospital doors, soaked from the torrential downpour that continued outside. Airika raced up to us in a panic – in fact everyone in the hospital seemed on edge.
“Where the hell have you been?!” Airika screamed at Danny. Apparently I had missed something.
“He was with me, Airika. What is going on here?” I inquired.
“Your partner here decided to go ballistic on one of the doctors and then he took off. We had no idea where he was or if he even knew who he was or anything. Everyone’s been searching the grounds.” Then she turned her attention to Danny. “And You!” She jabbed a finger into his chest and yelled, causing numerous stares to fall in our direction. “What the fuck were you thinking attacking that doctor like that?! You could’ve killed him! Now I want you to march your ass back up those stairs and go apologize to that man and let him finish his work on you! You’re lucky you didn’t fuck up the technology he was working on!” She continued to scream, constantly jabbing him with her finger after every other word. Danny and I just stood there, dumbfounded. Man, Airika was pissed. “I said now!” She shouted forcefully shoving him towards the elevator and back to his hospital bed.
It took us a while to convince the hospital staff that he wasn’t a threat and that they could continue working on his body. The final agreement was that this time Airika and I were to stay in the room with them while they operated. I can’t imagine why they didn’t trust him.
The surgery took a couple of hours to complete and all the while my eyes were locked on Danny’s sea foam gaze. He was in so much pain this time through and I couldn’t help but feel that the whole situation was unfair. Before, they had always worked on him while he was still in his ‘coma’ so the pain never really affected him. Now, they were still working on him while he was awake – some bullshit about the nerves having to be alert and therefore, drugs couldn’t be used for this procedure. Either way, it wasn’t fair to Danny; hadn’t he already been through enough? And with each spark of the doctor’s tool, Danny winced causing a pointless pang of guilt to flow through me. His eyes watered immensely, but other than that, he showed no signs of hurt.
“Now that we’re finished, I’ll give you something for the pain. You will sleep very well through the night.” The doctor concluded as he put his tools away and pulled out a large needle with some sort of pale blue liquid inside. “I have to say, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone go through that procedure without showing any pain. You must be one hell of a…” The doctor was cut off by Danny’s hand grabbing his wrist, preventing the shot from entering his skin. He shook his head, not wanting the drugs, but I had gone through his performance for long enough. I knew he was in pain, he knew he was in pain, and he was being stupid not to take the little bit of help that the doctor offered.
I stood and walked over to him and placed a hand over his forceful grip.
“Danny.” I whispered, but I’m not sure if it came out as pleading, comforting, or compelling. Either way, Danny released the wrist of the doctor and took the shot like a man. The drugs took only moments before they kicked in. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” I softly reassured him as he finally lost the battle to his heavy eyelids.
“You better… be.” He muttered, smiling, before he lost consciousness.
With Dan passed out and sleeping soundly, Airika and I made our way down to the cafeteria for some fine hospital cuisine. We really didn’t say much at all – I guess watching about 2 hours of torture left both of us with little to talk about. Once through the dinner line, we made our way to an empty table in the corner, away from the few others in the room. Glancing over at Airika, I watched in awe as she unscrewed the top of the pepper shaker and began pouring a generous amount of the spice over her macaroni and cheese, corn, cottage cheese, and even her buttered bread. Her plated was now a putrid palette of yellow, white, and black. It was such a wonderful color combination that any artist would love.
Looking down at my own plate of mashed potatoes with brown gravy, a slab of beef of some sort, and green beans, I realized that my tray didn’t look much better and could probably use a little seasoning itself. I reached for the salt shaker and began vigorously sprinkling the substance over the bland food.
“Um… Jadey-Lady, I don’t mean to tell you what to do but… uh… doesn’t it defeat the purpose of a low sodium meal when you pour the salt on it?” Airika and I laughed at the irony of it all.
“Yeah, I know, but this tastes like watered-down shit.” I commented as I took a spoonful of my potatoes and shoved them in my mouth. The food wasn’t really that bad. But one would think that with all of our advances in the medical and technological fields, we could at least develop better hospital food.
The meal went on silently as we took mouthfuls of our mediocre dinners one after another. My mind kept wandering back to the episode between me and Danny on the beach and with every reliving of that kiss a wave of electricity went through my body. Of course, Airika knew something was up, but for the moment she was letting it go. Or so I thought…
“So, something happen between you two?” She spoke with a mouthful of mac and cheese.
“Why would you think that?” I returned with an innocent inquiry. Though I faked the tone pretty well, I didn’t look up. I knew if I met her eyes while we discussed the subject she would see right through me.
“I’m not stupid, Jade. Ever since you guys have come back there’s been a strange awkwardness about you.” She spoke – spot on.
“It’s just strange to have him back, Airika. When I thought I had lost him and here he is. It’s just weird, that’s all. I’m sure that in time it will all go back to how it was.” But I knew it wouldn’t. We couldn’t go back to how we were before, not since our little scenario on the beach. Now, we were… well I’m not quite sure what we were. I suppose we could be considered friends with benefits maybe even lovers? The thought struck a chord in my chest. I know how I felt about him, but the idea of us dating – well that just didn’t seem like us. In fact, until Danny convinced me otherwise, the concept of us would remain just between him and I.
“Yeah, I suppose it is kind of weird, huh?” Airika sighed as she took a large bite out of her bread and began staring off into space as she chewed.
The rest of the dinner was consumed in silence. In fact, the rest of the evening was as well. We quietly said our ‘goodnights’ and went to our separate bedrooms to settle in for the night. The hospital was very kind to us and had given us our own temporary living quarters until we made our way back to Syndrick. I’m not sure that if they knew that we were part of the Luddite faction they would’ve treated us a bit differently. But if that were the case, I prayed that they would only find out after Danny was cleared to go.
I sat on the bench beside my window and stared at the rain that continued to fall. I remembered the taste of the rain on Danny’s mouth and I touched my own lips at the thought. A smile escaped when the idea came to mind and I felt the urge to taste Danny again. I was a like a fucking high school girl again – and truthfully I didn’t like it at all. I was becoming weak and all wrapped up in my emotions, something that I knew would happen. This was the reason all along that I kept myself from falling for Danny. I didn’t want emotions to get in the way of our job. It had happened 8 years ago and I’m sure it was only a matter of time before it would happen again.
***
I must have fallen asleep for strange dreams of the ocean and fire coursed through my head. When I woke all I could remember was that I was swimming and there were flames all around me. It was strange that that’s all I could recall when normally my dreams were very vivid and memorable. When I opened my eyes I could see the raindrops still falling against the parking lot lights below. Other than that, the world was dark. My room was dark too, but as I removed my forehead from the cold glass of the window, I caught a glimpse of someone else in the room making their way towards me. Immediately, I withdrew a blade from my boot and held it out against the intruder.
“It’s just me, girl.” Danny’s soft voice responded as he kept walking closer. “I woke up and you weren’t there like you promised.” He accused sarcastically as I replaced the blade in its holder.
“You were supposed to sleep until morning, Dan. Otherwise I would’ve been there.” I smiled as he leaned down over me and immediately met my lips. He was never shy, so why start now I suppose. The kiss was short, but oh so sweet and I longed for more as he withdrew his mouth from mine.
“It’s all right, girl, I forgive you.” He smiled as he sat next to me on the bench. In winced a bit as he sat down, no doubt he was still in pain.
“I’m guessing the doctor didn’t give you enough drugs, huh?” I commented as he continued to reposition his body to try and sit comfortably.
“He was probably afraid to.” Danny laughed.
“I can’t imagine why.” I returned. “Now why aren’t you in bed?” I inquired, suddenly realizing that he was not supposed to be here.
“I wanted to see you. You’re all I’ve been thinking about, dreaming about. You just won’t leave my mind, girl. But I suppose you know why, huh?” He babbled on as he tried to lean in again, only to be stopped abruptly by pain shooting through him from somewhere. I lightly put my arms on his shoulders and gently pushed him back against the wall.
“Yeah, I suppose I know why. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about you too.” I admitted and I saw his face light up against the darkness. I was the one that leaned towards him this time to make it a little more convenient.
“If I knew this was going to be the outcome, I guess I should’ve died a little sooner, huh?” He joked as his lips grazed mine. I pulled away, stunned a bit by his words. I knew it all a joke, but…
“Girl?” He questioned. I looked away from his eyes for a moment, trying to compose myself before I glanced back. “Jade, what’s wrong?” He commented, concerned, as he brushed my cheek with his fingers, wiping away the tears that had mysteriously appeared there. The next thing I knew, I was a sobbing mess. All sorts of emotions were flowing out through the tears that fell and I just couldn’t dam them up. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I didn’t like this vulnerable side of me – this was the me that was left exposed and pathetic. Without another word, Danny pulled me into his chest and just let me cry. I knew the motion was painful for him, but I was thankful nonetheless. I cried and cried, hysterically shaking with raw emotion. I felt his fingertips running through my hair, trying to calm me down.
“Jade, I didn’t mean what I said. Everything will be okay now; you just let it all out.” Danny whispered into my hair as he placed a kiss upon my head. I felt the hot tears streaming down my face and as I licked my lips to speak, I could taste the salt upon them.
“You were gone, Danny. You were dead to me for months.” I stopped, gasping for air in between the sobs. I felt his fingertips pull my face up to lock my gaze into the world of sea foam green.
“But I’m here now, Jade. I’m not going anywhere.” He crooned and wiped away the tears from under my eyes.
“Danny, for three months I was lost. I couldn’t function without you by my side and I realized how much I cared for you and how blind and stupid I had been for the past eight years. Dan, for a period of time, I just wanted to die. I didn’t want to go on living without you here. And I know that sounds stupid, but it was like I was living a nightmare. I regretted everything, but I especially regretted the fact that I never got to tell you that I loved you.” I blurted it all out. It was like my mouth had opened up and my soul had escaped.
Danny didn’t say anything for a moment. Instead he just stared at me with a sympathetic smile. “Girl, you didn’t have to tell me. I always knew that you loved me, everyone knew. You were the only one that just couldn’t see it.” He smiled and placed a quick kiss on my cheek, then leaned in and whispered in my ear. “But there’s no words to explain how I feel after hearing you say it.”
Before I even had a chance to think another thought, his mouth met mine in a blissful display of emotion that seemed to last forever. Endlessly our lips caressed each other’s, tasting the sweet nectar from one another. After what seemed like hours, Danny finally broke our lock, placing a series of small kisses upon my lips before finally ceasing the moment.
“Sorry girl,” He took a deep breath. “I’d keep on doing this all night, but I really need to lie down or something.” When I finally pulled back away from him I saw that his hand was gripping at his shirt, just under his ribs – where they had completed some of the nerve procedures that day. Immediately, I felt kind of bad for putting him through this pain.
“Jesus, Danny, why didn’t you say something?” I scolded.
“Do you think I wanted to end this anymore than you did, girl?” He said as he stroked my cheek, causing me to want to jump right back in to the proceeding moment. However, holding on to what little willpower I had, and instead I stood and reached down to help him up. He took my arm, but remained doubled over. Damn… what did they do to him? Holding on to him, I began to lead him to the door.
“Jade, can I just stay here with you tonight?” Danny was never shy, but occasionally his bluntness still surprised me. Seeing my hesitation, he reworded his plea. “It’s just that I don’t want to go back down there and lay in that room by myself with only the sound of beeps and buzzers to keep me company. Just let me be with you, girl. I just want to sleep here; I swear I’m not gonna try anything.” He promised, throwing his hands up in the air in a mode of surrender. Of course, he immediately regretted the action with the pain that followed and he found himself doubled over again. All I could do was give in to his request. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want him to stay anyway.
Helping him through the dark room and to the bed was simple enough, with only a few bumps into random objects I wasn’t aware of. He laid down upon one of the pillows and all I could do was awkwardly stand there, staring down at him. I wasn’t necessarily hesitating to lay down – it just almost like I didn’t know what to do. Seeing my long pause and blank stare, Danny opted to aid me in my efforts. He reached up and ran his fingers down the side of my arm, once again sending a current through me.
“I’m not putting you out of your own bed, Jade. Come and lay down.” He coaxed. Of course, I obeyed. It was like that was all I needed. And as I lay down next to him I realized that I had finally recovered the part of me that I had lost eight years ago. Danny wrapped a free hand around my shoulders and pulled me in close to him. I laid my head upon his chest and just felt the warmth envelop me within its hold, drawing me in to a state of complete blessedness. I was happy and I was in love, and no one could take that away from me ever again.
“I love you, Danny.” I whispered as I felt his chest rise and fall in a deep, heavy breathing.
“Love you…” Danny murmured, nearly asleep, as he gave me a final, brief squeeze, causing me to nuzzle against him.
As I, too, began to drift off into a deep sleep I felt content with how far I’d come in the past few months. I had missed out on so much in the past eight years of denial and I hated the person that I had become. I regretted not letting myself see what could be and I kept my life in a state of being stuck. I was going nowhere, and I was going there fast. My life was on hold until the day that I died. But as the darkness enclosed upon my thoughts I realized that now… now, I had learned to live.
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