Chapter Six
And Then There Were Three
I was laying on the hard ground, half covered in dirt. The earth smelled of fire and blood. I was afraid to open my eyes for what I would see, but I did it anyway. My eyes were difficult to open for it seemed that they had been glued shut with the matter of a long nights sleep. My eyelashes cracked as I finally caught a fuzzy glimpse of the world.
I was on the battlefield and I couldn’t see the sky for all of the smoke and fire. It was a barren wasteland with death all around. I went to get up, but couldn’t move my body. What had happened to me? I could move my eyes, but the rest of me was numb, paralyzed; I felt absolutely nothing. For all I knew, my entire lower half was missing, but I couldn’t move to check.
Out of the corner of my vision, I finally saw some movement. It looked as though someone was getting up from the rubble and making their way towards me. That’s not someone, you idiot, that is something! My inner voice screamed, causing me to realize that an A.I. soldier was headed in my direction. It was like it knew I was awake and it made a B-line for my unresponsive body. I tried to scream out – to do anything. But there was nothing I could do. It approached me, its eyes piercing through me like hot magma. Then it reached out with its metallic hand to touch my face…
As the hand touched my skin, I was startled awake. I was still in a panic from the delusion and I was immediately struggling to break free of my oppressor. At least my body was moving again.
“Hey, girl, calm down. You were dreaming.” A familiar whisper caused me to take a deep breath and lay back on my pillow. When my mind finally settled, I looked up at Dan to meet his soft eyes. Then I realized I wasn’t on a pillow at all, but instead, I had been lying on Dan’s thighs this entire time. Had I slept there all night? The sad part is that I don’t even remember falling asleep. Please tell me things didn’t get out of hand last night.
“Come on girl, let’s go make some coffee. I know we’ll all need it this morning.” Dan whispered, putting his arms under my shoulders to help me up. I sat up slowly, my back still relying on his arms, and then the headache hit. I closed my eyes again to try and steady the pain, but it wasn’t working. Danny must have known what was going on for he put both of his thumbs against the base of my skull and tried to rub the pain away.
“Jade, let’s go get you some coffee.” He whispered in my ear as he made his way off of the bed. He held out a hand to help me up. Normally, I would’ve refused it, but I really needed help this morning. I stood up beside him and the room shifted a bit, causing me to sway in the slightest bit. Danny noticed, giving him a reason to hold my hand just a bit tighter. I hated feeling helpless.
As he guided me out of the dorm, I saw Airika passed out on the floor. She had a blanket over top of her and in her arms she was clutching an empty bottle of coconut rum like it was a stuffed animal. Great, we didn’t just stop with the whiskey.
We made our way to the kitchen – the light was already on from who knows when. The light made me squint as we entered the room. I glanced around to see that the familiar cabinet above the refrigerator was wide open and all of the bottles were gone – except for the wine. I knew no one in their right mind would be out here drinking fucking Sangiovese. I laughed to myself. Dan cleared off some of the bottles from the countertop and pulled me over to it. Next thing I knew, he had his hands on my waist and he was lifting me onto the cleared space.
“You just relax there, girl.” He smiled as he let go of me and pulled the coffee pot out of another cupboard. I watched him intently as he poured the water in the side of the maker and positioned the filter in place. He was overly calm, almost cheerful this morning. Oh dear Lord…
“Do you want your coffee black this morning, Jade?” He questioned nonchalantly.
“What happened last night?” I inquired a bit annoyed, ignoring his question.
“Oh man. Okay, black it is. Stronger the better for memory loss, am I right?” He laughed as he put quite a few scoops into the maker and started it up.
“I’m not kidding, Dan. What the hell happened that you are so smiley this morning?” I raised my voice and immediately was sorry for it for a sharp stab ran through the front of my head. Trying to recover from the sting, I completely missed the fact that Dan had walked over and put his hands on the counter on both sides of me. But when I opened my eyes, he was right there staring into them with those sea foam irises, a little too close for comfort.
“I didn’t know that my mood was that obvious. But since it bothers you so much that I’m happy, I’ll be sure to explain why.” He said jokingly. I went to protest his latter comment, but he beat me to it with a fingertip to my lips.
“You asked, so the least you can do is be courteous enough to listen to the answer. Let’s just say that even with all of the shit that happened last night, it was still one of the best nights of my life.” Great… what in the hell did I do? “Not only did we clear out the alcohol cupboard last night and get just plain shit-faced for the first time in ages, but when we finally decided to go to sleep, you came over and gave me hug then snuggled up against me. Now, whether you had meant all that or not, either way, I got to watch you sleep on my legs until I drifted off to sleep. Then when I finally woke up, your face was right there again, as peaceful as ever. And it got me to thinking that last night you showed me a glimpse of how much you really did care for me, girl.” When he was finished, he just stood there leaning over me, waiting for my defense. Of course, it wasn’t in my nature to disappoint his anticipation.
“Listen Dan, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. You know I have no control over what I do when I’m pissed-drunk.” I remained calm, just getting the point across – a point that Danny knew long ago. At least I had never overstepped my boundaries while I was drunk.
“It’s not what you did while you were drunk that got me thinking, Jade. It was before all that shit happened last night.” Okay, now I’m just confused.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Danny.” I spoke, still trying to recall any instances before the fight that would’ve made him get the wrong idea.
“When you came looking for me when the gunfire started.” He stated.
“Danny, honey, I came after you because you are my friend and my partner. I came after you as a soldier.” I simply explained, feeling sorry for the fact that he had thought it was more.
“Girl, a soldier would’ve made sure she was armed before running into battle like that.” I had no retaliation for that one. I still didn’t know why I had run out there on my own, unarmed. It’s because I was stupid. When he saw that I had no comeback for his assumptions, he smiled.
“Well at least that is a glimpse of light at the end of a long, black tunnel.” He muttered. “Speaking of black, I think the coffee is done.” He left my space on the counter and went over to get two coffee mugs.
“Careful, girl, it’s hot.” He chuckled a bit as he handed me the cup, knowing too well that I would probably burn my tongue like I always do. He was back into his jovial mood again and it annoyed the hell out of me. And it wasn’t that I didn’t want him to be happy. It was just that I didn’t want him to be happy on the account of some form of miscommunication between the two of us. I didn’t want him to get his hopes up to just have them come crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. I hated when that happened, and it always ended up in a huge fight between the two of us. There was too much going on right now, too much at stake, to be worried about emotions and relationships that will never develop. And I got tired of always defending that my sentiments for him were like what I would have for my family, my best friend, or my partner. Because in the end, to me, he was all three of those.
We sat in awkward silence for what seemed like forever. I just stared at the floor as I slowly sipped my strong cup of coffee. I kept feeling his eyes on me as he leaned up against the counter opposite to me. I refused to meet his gaze.
“Jade, girl, come on now, don’t make things more awkward than they already are. I didn’t mean to bring up the obvious, but that doesn’t mean things have to get all weird between us. You could at least look at me, girl.” He was trying so hard to snap me out of the funk he had put me in. But I just couldn’t shake what he had pointed out to me.
“I just don’t’ know why I did it.” I whispered to my mug as I set it in my lap. Dan sat his mug on the countertop he was leaning against and walked over to me. He placed his fingers under my chin and forced me to look at him.
“Sometimes we don’t know why we do the things we do. We just do them and hope for the best.” He muttered as he leaned in towards me in another fateful attempt. I didn’t want to push him away now that I had him back as himself again, but why did he always have to push it? I placed my hand on his chest to stop him, but I don’t think he took it as an attempt to hinder what was taking place.
“Dan.” I whispered, my breath returning back to my lips after hitting his. He was too close. Come on Jade, emotions aside you need to do something!
“Hope I’m not interrupting you two.” A groggy voice sounded from the doorway followed by a sleepy yawn. Danny jumped and pulled back while I, on the other hand was extremely relieved. His advances were getting to be too much for me to handle. I mean, I couldn’t even shove him away this time because I didn’t want us fighting again.
He walked over and grabbed a third mug and poured Airika a cup of coffee and handed it to her. I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or pissed, but he definitely wasn’t his jovial self from before.
“Sorry, I can leave if you guys want some privacy.” Airika giggled to herself as she took a sip of the hot caffeine. She was like an impish child standing in the doorway with her shit-eating-grin on her face. Her black and blue hair was matted down against her head and the dried blood didn’t improve the matter. With her childlike character I about half expected her to be in pajama bottoms with, I don’t know, penguins all over them. To my surprise though she stood in the entry wearing her blood-stained tank top and a pair of black hip huggers. I laughed to myself at her lack of pants as well as her lack of concern on the matter.
“No, it’s fine.” I muttered nonchalantly hoping not to offend Dan, but at the same time, not wanting to be left alone with him.
“Yeah, I uh, need to make us some transportation arrangements anyway.” Danny stammered as he rubbed the back of his head and proceeded to take his cup of coffee out of the kitchen.
Airika and I sat in silence for a little while. I’m not sure if it was embarrassment that I was feeling but I know that I didn’t like being seen like that. Who knew what Airika would assume because of the scene she had walked in on. And just to confirm my apprehensions, she began to snicker into her cup.
“So, uh, you and Danny, huh?” She finally threw out into the open as she loudly slurped some of the hot liquid.
“No, Airika, and I don’t want to talk about it.” I got up and put my empty cup in the sink. I wasn’t mad that she had asked, I was just sick of the subject. I started to leave the kitchen, but Airika was blocking the doorway.
“Where are you going, Jadey-Lady?” Airika asked playfully, blowing bubbles in her drink.
“I’m getting a shower. For some reason the idea of traveling while smelling like blood and alcohol doesn’t really appeal to me.” I chortled, trying to lighten the mood again as I left the kitchen and made my way back to the locker rooms for a much needed shower.
The hot water felt really good on my skin, washing away the dried blood and mud. I’m not quite sure why none of us took a shower the night before. I suppose with all that had happened our minds were in another place. I closed my eyes and revisited the numerous scenes from the previous night. I saw the faces of the men I had killed flash before me. I saw that technician lying on the floor, screaming out in pain as I doomed him to his death as well. Then I heard the echoes of Jared and Quentin discussing the supposed casualties.
…the A.I.s are much more valuable, not to mention much more expensive, than a human soldier… if we were to send in the A.I.s, these rebel bastards wouldn’t think twice about destroying them… they would actually feel right destroying them. In the case of a human soldier though, now that’s actually taking a human life. Not only would the soldiers of this faction think twice about killing them, which may give us the split second needed to destroy them, but it also wears on them over time…
I opened my eyes to stare blankly at the white tile of the shower stall. Lately it seemed like the more I killed, the more I saw those faces before me. Were the past 8 years beginning to wear on me?
Picture a sandstone on the beach, with every crashing wave, no matter how small, a little speck of sand disappears from it. Over time, that stone will erode to nothing but specks of sand, a mere molecule of its former self. If they are so inclined to save the human race, then let the deaths they cause erode at them in the process. Maybe at some point, they’ll come to their senses and stop this bullshit.
I held up my hands to see the mud and blood wash out from under my fingernails. And though it was an illusion, it seemed as though I was the one being washed away down that shower drain.
“Enjoying your shower?” I heard Airika’s voice call over as another shower started up next to me.
“Yeah.” I answered half-heartedly, still caught up in the lingering questions in the back of my mind.
“Hey, I think when we’re done, I’m gonna need ya to patch up this hole in my head. I think it opened itself up again.” Airika called out again laughing at the irony in her words.
“No problem. I’ll take care of it.” I laughed back. That girl was just too funny.
Slowly, I drifted back into my subconscious thoughts. This time I was revisiting a time that was much further back in my past.
Eight years seems so long ago… I was 17 years old and working with my older sister, Niamh, at one of the Luddite facilities. I was still new to the faction and still trying to find my place there. Meanwhile, I was just assisting Niamh with her job. Before the resistance began, she was enlisted in the Air Force as a weapons repair and maintenance officer. When all hell broke loose, she left the military to join the Luddites, keeping her same title. Shortly after leaving the military, word got back to the government that she had gone rogue, and though the government denies it, this led directly to the deaths of my parents.
Being only 17, I had nowhere else to go. Not to mention I was so full of anger against the government that I didn’t have much of a choice than to join my sister for the cause. During the first few months I was assigned mainly to cleaning guns. Soon after, I was able to move up to testing and inspecting the weapons. That’s how all of this began.
I was in the shooting range late one night testing out a recently repaired M16A4 rifle. I had been getting really good at aiming the past couple of weeks and at this point, I was barely outside the center target. I had just finished a round, hit the target retract, and was reloading the weapon as I waited for the target to reach me.
“I haven’t seen you around here before, are you new?” A male voice startled me, making me spin around to aim the gun at him. Call it instincts, call it panic, call it an act of stupidity; whatever you call it, it got me where I am today.
“Whoa, easy there, girl.” The boy put his hands up in the air in surrender. He was probably my age, maybe a couple of years older, but his sea foam eyes showed a maturity I’d never seen in a teenage boy before.
“Ugh… right. I’m Danny.” He muttered with his hands still in the air. “I swear, I’m not here to hurt you, girl.” He sort of laughed. Then I realized the gun was still pointed in his direction and I quickly lowered the barrel, a little embarrassed. I sat the gun down on the shelf as my target finally reached me. Danny reached over my shoulder and grabbed the results and examined them before I had a chance to even look at them.
“Damn girl, you’re a good shot.” He turned the target around and pressed it up against his own body, matching the silhouette with his own figure. “Yeah, I think I’d be dead.” He laughed, referring to the repetitive shots in his chest. I laughed under my breath, not sure how to take this guy, but I think I kind of liked him. There was a bit of an awkward silence then, I never knew what to say. I guess I might have been a little shy back then, something I soon grew out of.
“So…uh… are you new to the soldier unit?” Dan murmured, rubbing the back of his head in awkwardness.
“No, I work for my sister. She is in charge of the weapons repair and maintenance unit down the hall.” I said matter-of-factly.
“Ah, you’re Niamh’s sister then?” Danny exclaimed – a light going off behind his eyes.
“Uh, yeah.” I muttered.
“Well damn girl, by the looks of this target you shouldn’t be wasting your talent cleaning and testing the guns.” He declared. “You should be using them in combat or something – like what I’m training for.” He said cheerfully, almost excited. “You should talk to Jameson first thing in the morning.” I had heard Jameson’s name before, but had never actually met the man. Normally, I only heard my sister talk about him when she was under a time crunch. “I can just hear Jameson breathing down my neck in the morning.” She would mutter to herself while she had a lot to get done and a short amount of time to get it done.
“So what do ya say, girl?” Danny’s question brought me back to reality.
“My name is Jade.” I stated firmly, somewhat tired of being called ‘girl.’
My memory began to fade into a fog. It took me a little while to realize that it was steam clouding my vision and not my flashbacks. How long had I been in here? I listened closely, realizing that Airika had left already. “Man, I hate when I do that.” I muttered to myself as I finished washing and turned off the shower. I wrapped a towel around me and went to look for Airika, and some clean clothes. Seeing that she was long gone from the locker room, I began to search around for something clean to wear. I found my jeans that I had hung up to dry yesterday and a black tank top that was a little too tight, but it would have to do. Great this is all I need to do, just show a little more cleavage and Danny would be absolutely unbearable. I thought sarcastically to myself as I pulled the too-tight shirt down over my breasts. Just be a little more forceful against him, that’s all. My inner thoughts reminded me. Then, as if he knew I was talking about him, I heard Danny’s voice echo through the locker room.
“So what do you suggest that I do, Airika?” Danny droned on as if they had been talking for quite a while. I could tell they were out in the training room, probably waiting on me. I made my way to the door and leaned against the wall just inside the locker room. I wanted to hear what they had to say.
“Ouch! Dan, could you stop with your love life long enough for you to pay attention to what you’re doing? That hurt!” I heard Airika’s high-pitched squeal echo out.
“Sorry, I haven’t done stitches in a while.” Danny apologized. Man, I must have been in the shower much longer than I thought if Airika had found someone else to tend to her injury.
“It’s okay, Danny. Now, about Jade, I don’t know what to tell you.” She stated. “I mean, I actually thought you two were already an item. I mean, you’ve been together for what, like 5 years or something?” She alleged.
“It’s been 7 years now, going on 8. And it seems like we should be together, right?” He began his whining again. At least it was to someone else this time instead of me.
“No, I definitely agree with ya there, Danny-Boy. I was actually surprised when I asked Jade about you two and she got all offended and shit.” She paused for a minute. “Then… why aren’t you together? I mean it’s unquestionable that you really care for her. And I know for a fact that she cares about you…” She began.
“That’s the thing!” Danny exclaimed, a little too loudly. “I know she loves me and you know she loves me, but she just can’t see it.”
“Now, I wouldn’t go as far to say that she loves you. She may in time, but love is such a strong word, Dan. Get her to admit how much she likes you first. Now, have you at least kissed her?” Airika continued to pry.
“I’ve tried. I’ve kissed every part of her except for her lips.” He complained referring to the many times I had dodged his lips.
“Every part?” Airika chuckled, taking what he had said in a completely perverted fashion.
“Airika!” He yelled out, embarrassed. He and I both knew that he would if he could and that was just the type of thing I was trying to prevent.
“Listen Dan, you want my advice? Then here it is…” She paused, serious all of a sudden. This ought to be good. “Just back off for a while. The more you push her, the more you‘re going to push her away. I promise you that she will come around eventually. Just, ya know, let her emotions catch up all right?” Well, I guess I would agree with the first part of her advice. But the part about me coming around and letting my emotions catch up – complete and total bullshit. Emotions were what made us weak and vulnerable. I had let my emotions get in the way once before and it led to many unnecessary deaths. That was a mistake I would never let happen again.
“Okay, well, you’re done. I’m going to go confirm final transportation arrangements and we’ll be ready to get out of here. I suggest stocking up on some weaponry and preparing for departure.” Dan was speaking as an officer again. I just wondered how long, if at all, he would take Airika’s advice. And the worst part is that at one point, I thought I did like Danny, back when I was young and dumb. I had let myself become consumed with emotions. It was the biggest mistake of my life.
“Well, Jadey-Lady, did you like what you heard?” Airika’s quiet voice startled me as she stood in the doorway staring right at me.
“You knew I was listening?” I inquired, meeting her steel-blue stare.
“I figured you would be. It never fails ya know, start talking about someone and they are sure to hear ya.” She smiled, turning around and making her way back to the armory. “Well, then you heard Danny’s orders then, right?”
Airika was acting kind of strange, almost cold it seemed. I had wondered if I had offended her by listening in on their conversation.
“Hey, sorry for eavesdropping.” I stammered an apology. I really was sorry, but if she had known all along that I was there, then why would she be offended by it?
“Ah, you’re fine.” She brushed off as if it was nothing and began sorting through the equipment storage. But I could tell something was bothering her.
“So what’s up then? Something’s bothering you.” I alleged.
“For someone that is so unaware of her own emotions, you sure are quick to pick up on everyone else’s.” She said rather coldly and then suddenly, she had a change of heart. “Oh! I’m sorry, Jadey-Lady, I just hate being the middle man… middle woman… whatever the hell it is that I am!” She thrust herself down on one of the empty wooden crates and then motioned for me to come and sit next to her. I had a feeling I knew what I was walking into, but I sat next to her nonetheless.
“I’m really sorry I snapped like that, it’s not like me at all. It’s just that he really cares for you Jade. I mean, he really, really cares for you. And what I don’t get is that everything you say and do points out that you feel the same way for him Jade.” I went to protest, but didn’t get a word out before a palm was in my face hushing me. “I don’t want to hear any excuses about it. I just don’t understand what happened between you two that keeps you guys in this constant battle with yourselves. And I’m not just talking about how you aren’t in touch with your feelings Jade, but I don’t know if you know what kind of battle Dan is going through too. At some point in the past 8 years, you’ve shown him some sign that gave him hope. You showed him some part of you that was at least capable of love. I just don’t know what happened that made it go away.” Airika had rambled off again, her inner thoughts being thought out loud. And though it seemed like a jumbled mess, I followed along perfectly.
“You two about ready to go?” I heard Danny shout from down the hall. “Pack light, we’re taking public transportation into the city.” He continued as he made his way through the armory door.
“I’m still taking my grenades!” Airika called out in refutation.
“Another time.” I whispered to Airika as I got up. I wasn’t ready to explain my life away at just that moment. But in time, I think that she would be the only one I could trust with the truth, besides Danny of course. Not that he didn’t know it all already anyway – after all, he had been there to experience the whole thing alongside me.
“So, don’t tell me we’re taking a bus again.” Airika grumpily mumbled as she got up from the crate. I could tell she was trying to distract Danny’s questioning looks as to why both of us were so morose.
“Nah, we have about a mile hike to the train station just down the valley. We should get there in time to get our tickets and catch the 1200 all the way into the heart of Syndrick. We probably won’t get there before nightfall, but they are aware that we are alive and on our way.” He continued on, but all Airika heard was…
“We’re going on a TRAIN!?”
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