Chapter Thirteen
Put Off Today What You Could Do Tomorrow
That seems to be my motto in life as of late. It’s not that I enjoy or even intend to live by that rule, but it always seems to happen. But hear lately, I’m getting really down on myself about it. Now it seems that that quote should have a second part. Put off today what you could do tomorrow, and tomorrow may never come. We never know when life may end for us or the ones we love, so why not live life to the fullest? Life is too fucking short. Why not take risks and go for your dreams? And though all of that is easy to put down on paper, it’s hard to convince myself to do it – no matter how many times I read it out loud.
I would love to make a change in my life, to do something I’m proud of, to look back and say that I have no regrets. But as of this moment, I regret a lot in my life. My biggest regret is simply not living. I don’t strive for the best, I don’t go for the gold, and I sure as hell don’t take any risks. I play it safe and secure. I don’t like going out of my comfort zone, even if it is the size of a ring box. But I suppose in order to think outside of the box, you at least have to start with a box. At any rate, I do have a box. And honestly, I believe that there are a lot of really great ideas in that tiny container, I just haven’t let them jump out of their confinement. They haven’t had a chance to escape, explore the world, and grow. I think it’s about time I let it all go and just live.
Step One: Finish what I start. I don’t know how many unfinished projects I have in my house and in the classroom. Whether it is paintings, drawings, novels, organization, cleaning, etc… it’s all half-assed and lays around unfinished. It’s actually really pathetic.
Step Two: Don’t be afraid to show what I can do. There are countless times that I have turned out a chance to do something great due to a fear that I will not succeed. I still haven’t sent in my entry form for that High School Art Teacher Show nor have I called back any of the publishers that have called wanting to learn more about my book. I think I just don’t like the idea of pouring my heart out into a work of art or literature and then being judged on it. How can you judge what comes directly from the heart?
Step Three: Take a Fucking Risk! Enough said, I’m tired of playing it all safe. We’re never going to have enough money, we’re never going to have the perfect job, and we’re never going to be totally ready for everything that gets thrown at us. Let us just say we’re going to put all that aside and just go for something. Whether it is a new location, a new occupation, a family, or a life. Something has got to be done and the only way to do it is to start with a risk.
Step Four: Try something new. It’s never too late to find something that I haven’t ever tried before – I may find something I like. Just like in Printmaking class in college. I waited until the very last semester of my senior year to take that class because I was sure that I wouldn’t like it. Turns out, it was one of my favorite classes from my entire college life. And here I could’ve taken a few years of Printmaking, learning so many new and interested printmaking techniques. Instead, I regret waiting that long to take the class because I thought that I wouldn’t enjoy it.
Step Five: Get Started Already. Enough with the talk already, something has to be done. I’m tired of discussing what all I’m going to do to make my life better – talking is all I seem to do. It’s just time to actually do something about my life.
Typing it out seems like I am creating my own 5 step program to living. Sad I know. But in the true nature of my procrastination – I’m going to get started on that first thing tomorrow. As for right now, it’s time to sleep on it.
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