Chapter Twenty
The Long Awaited
I woke up out of my dreamless darkness, not knowing how many days had passed since I had blacked out. I was glad to be out of my abysmal state, but I was pissed off at the most recent memory I held. I had lost. I had failed. Quentin and his guard took me down like I was nothing and it left me with nothing but self-doubt and aggravation. Maybe I had lost it – maybe I was merely a shadow of my former self. Perhaps Danny had taken part of me away with him when he died.
“Jadey-Lady! You’re awake!” I heard Airika call as she barged back into the room I was in. “I’m so glad you’re okay!” She shouted as she sat down on my bed. I heard a faint hush from the hallway and I glanced out to see a nurse with a finger over her lips. “Oh… sorry.” Airika whispered back and smiled. It was then that I realized I was lying in a hospital bed hooked up to IVs and monitors of all sorts. Man I must have really been fucked up. I tried to sit up, but the pain shot through my entire body. I winced and lay back down under the sheets.
“Just take it easy there Jadey-Lady. You’re not quite up to par just yet. They did quite a number on you.” Airika filled me in, basically telling me what I already had figured out on my own.
“But where are we, Airika?” I inquired, wondering why I didn’t recognize anyone else in the hallway.
“We’re on the outskirts of New Toronto. We had to get you to hospital right away. Don’t think you would’ve made it home to tell you the truth.” She trailed off with a finger to her lips as if she was pondering the outcome of the journey. “Nope, you definitely would’ve died.” She stated matter-of-factly.
“Shame…” I muttered without thinking and was countered with a slap to the face.
“Don’t you ever say that! I didn’t drag you out of there to have to say that you had wished you had died in there! I’ve stood up for you these past three months when everyone said that you were worthless without him. But damn it, Jade, I’m sick of seeing you like this.” Airika was crying now as she scolded me. I was dumbfounded at all that she had just said, but even more awestruck at me. I was ashamed of the person that I had become. Danny would be ashamed too. And if that wasn’t enough to jolt me back to life, then nothing was.
“I’m sorry, Airika. I didn’t mean it…” I paused, rubbing the throbbing spot on my cheek. “Let’s get back home.” I attempted to sit back up in bed again, but was immediately thrown back down by a combination of pain and Airika’s hands.
“I don’t think so. I have strict orders to keep you at this facility until the doctor releases you. And unlike you, I obey the orders I’m given.” She teased as she got up from my bed to leave the room.
“But…” I whimpered.
“No buts! I’ll go down to the cafeteria and get you something to eat. Yummy, hospital food!” She laughed as she spun around the corner and out of sight.
***
The next two weeks were the longest of my life. Airika and I spent most of our time walking though the hospital and outside on the grounds. This hospital was very conveniently located on the coast and included a beautiful stretch of beach. Airika spent most of her time in the water, while I spent most of mine sitting on the rocks against the shoreline. I had yet to go into the water – for two reasons. One was that I wasn’t supposed to go into the salt water until all of my wounds were healed. The second was those haunting memories of searching for Danny. It’s an ignominy that something that once gave me such peace now caused me panic and pain. I know that he wouldn’t have wanted that for me, but it was one thing that would take time to heal.
As I sat there on one of the huge boulders, I let my mind slip into tranquil nothingness. I just rested my mind to music of the waves, feeling only the salty breeze and the ocean spray upon my face. The temperature was cool but the feeling it enveloped me in was warm. For once, I didn’t have a care in the world. I was just me in the present moment.
“Hey, you think we ought to start heading back. We shouldn’t get your bandages wet.” I heard Airika call as she made her way out of the water and up to me. As I handed her a towel I realized that she had been referring to the thunderhead that was rolling in towards the coast. The storm was slow, but then again with my broken body, so was I. So we wasted no time in returning to the building.
We made it into the hospital with only a few minutes to spare. Pausing at the front windows of the ground floor, Airika and I watched as the torrents thrashed down on the sidewalk outside creating some much needed puddles during the dry spell.
Two doctors I had never seen before boarded the elevator before us, making just enough room for Airika and me to squeeze inside. They were headed to the 5th floor while Airika hit the button for the 13th. When the doors slide open for the doctors to leave, I glanced out onto the 5th floor. A large sign read “Technological Reconstruction” above a list of doctors’ names. I don’t know what came over me, but as the elevator doors began to shut, I slammed my arm against the metal, causing them to open back up. I hobbled into the hallway outside.
“Jadey-Lady, what are you doing?” Airika inquired as she followed me onto the unknown floor. The thing was, I really didn’t have an answer for her. I didn’t really know why I jumped off the elevator. The idea of technological reconstruction really bothered me and yet, something that Quentin had said had stuck with me.
After all we are WATR, named for the element which gives life. We wash away all of the pain and suffering from this world.
“I guess I just have to see it for myself.” I muttered under my breath.
“What do you have to see?” Airika whispered as I came to a halt at a lobby and sat down. My body was achy and tired. I needed to sit to recover my strength and process my thoughts.
“Honestly, I’m not sure Airika. I just don’t know if it’s all bad. I mean, Jameson did it right? If technology saves peoples’ lives is it still something we should be fighting?” I rambled on, trying to make sense of my thoughts as they spewed out loud. But Airika wasn’t really sure how to take what I was saying. “I guess I’m trying to figure out is we should blow up this level of the hospital as a parting gift is all.” I muttered, faking the best serious face I could. Airika’s eyes widened immensely.
“You’re not serious. After all they’ve done for you?” She whispered unbelievably.
“Of course I’m not serious!” I laughed out loud. We both giggled for a while.
“Come on, Jadey-Lady, let’s get you back to your room and order you some dinner. I know how you love the food here.” She suggested sarcastically. I nodded as she helped me up.
We made our way back to the elevator – me using her for support and waited for it to reach our floor. While we waited, I glanced around at all of the patients that were learning to walk again with their new mechanical ‘legs’ or having adjustments done to their already existing technological appendages. These people were normal people – hardworking people, just trying to make a living on their own. Weren’t those the people that I had vowed to protect all along? Maybe I had this all wrong.
“Yeah, I hear that patient 504’s vitals are improving. It looks like he might be waking from his coma after all.” I heard a nurse say from behind me.
“That’s good news. I was starting to worry his body was rejecting the reconstruction. It’s not every day that you get someone whose body is that opposed to the technological enhancements.” Her male counterpart added. By then, I was fully immersed in their conversation. I didn’t even realize that the elevator doors had opened.
“And after three months at that. Poor guy hasn’t even had any visitors or anything. You gotta wonder who he is.” The nurse spoke again. Three months…
“It’s not possible.” I whispered as I spun around and limped back down the hallway looking for room 504. I heard Airika calling from behind me as she rushed through the crowd to catch up with me.
500… 501… 502… 503…
I took a breath as I reached the room and clung to the doorframe to support my weak body. I didn’t want to open my eyes for fear that I was wrong. But what if you’re right?
…then I opened my eyes…
I couldn’t say a word. Not yet anyway.
“Jade! What’s wrong?” Airika was panicking as she ran up behind me. She probably thought I had lost my mind. But then, she too looked at the body lying in the bed in room 504.
“Danny…?” I couldn’t tell if she was asking if it was true, or she was just in utter disbelief. I was in both of those realms myself. A chill shook through my whole body and I couldn’t stop shaking. Sliding down the doorframe to the floor, I began crying uncontrollably.
Here he is. He has been here the whole time. I had never really lost him.
When I was composed enough to move again, Airika helped me to my feet and I walked to his side. He was hooked up to so many circuit boards and IVs. So much of his body was mechanical now and I could see the technology running where his skin should have been. I stood by his bedside for a while, just taking it in. Part of the left side of his chest was a metal plate and his lower right side was full of brackets and wires.
I knew he couldn’t feel anything, but I placed my hand against his bruised and bloodied face anyway. I just wanted to touch his skin and know that he was truly there.
“I’ll be in the lobby if you need me.” Airika whispered softly as she touched my shoulder and then left the room, giving me some time alone with my Danny. Without taking my eyes from his face, I entwined my fingers within his. I pulled back immediately, finding that his right hand had been replaced as well. Staring at him for the longest time, I secretly begged his sea foam eyes to open up and hold me in their grasp. But then again, I was only dreaming.
“Oh! I didn’t know anyone was here. Do you know him?” A nurse startled me as she came in to check his vitals. I couldn’t really say much, so I just nodded in response. “You’ll be happy to know that his vital signs are returned to normal. So he will most likely come out of his coma in the next couple of weeks. Of course, he will take time to finish healing and there will probably be some additional adjustments to his new supplements. But the technology we have will make him good as new.” She said happily. I suppose she could tell I was upset and she was trying to cheer me up. Little did she know that up until this moment, I had thought that the love of my life had died.
Nearly an hour later, Airika had to practically drag me away from his side and back up to my room. I wasn’t supposed to be in another room after certain hours and when I began to put up a fight they threatened that I would not have access to him at all if I didn’t cooperate. Needless to say, I was sitting in my own bed, wide awake, thinking of him. But the worst part was remembering what he had asked me to do if it was between him being technologically dependent or dying. In fact, I could hear his words, plain as day, echoing throughout the dark room.
“If something happens to me and it comes down to me dying or ending up like Jameson, just let me die. Could you do that for me?” He begged, solemnly. When I didn’t answer right away, he felt that he needed to justify his request. “You see, girl, here is the way I look at it. We’ve been fighting in this endless battle for many years now, right? The Luddite faction that we are part of is supposedly against all use of technological dependency. In other words, we are against letting technology take all the hardships away from us and therefore we are against letting it take over our lives. Then Jameson has the audacity to go and use high tech mechanisms for his own needs. I mean sure, maybe he would’ve died had he not taken on the machines, but what does he really stand for now? If I were in his place, I would’ve rather died, standing for what I believe in rather than giving in to something that I’ve fought against for the past 8 years.”
My heart broke at the thought of him choosing death over this. Fearing his reaction when he awoke from his sleep, I made my mind up then and there that I wouldn’t let him carry through with his request.
***
It had been 2 weeks since I had found Danny in the hospital bed, and though his vitals were at a normal level, he just wasn’t waking up. And though I had been cleared to leave over a week ago, I remained by his side every single moment that I was allowed to be. While I was with him, I did a lot of talking. Sometimes I wish he could hear me and other times I prayed he couldn’t. I talked about everything from how the day was going to my true feelings for him. There was a wide spread of conversations in between.
“Jade, honey, we’re going to have to ask you to leave for a little while so we can complete a little more of the skin grafts on his wrist.” The nurse called as she stuck her head in the door. Since Danny’s tests showed that he was to the point of waking, they had begun applying layers of skin to cover up some of the metal and wires. Airika suggested that I go and take a long, quiet walk along the beach. She thought that maybe going by myself would give me a chance to just clear my mind. It had been a while since I had seen the ocean. Perhaps today it would bring me peace.
So, placing a kiss atop Danny’s healing forehead, I made my way out of the hospital and towards the coast.
The clouds over the water were a dull, dark grey. Of course, it would act like it could rain when I finally came outside again. But I welcomed it, even if the heavens did open up on me today. I removed my shoes and buried my feet in the wet sand, enjoying the contact that they made with the earth. As I stood there, staring into the vast water, I felt myself being drawn to it. It was as if someone was calling me home. I took a few steps towards the water, feeling the cool spray of sea salt as I approached. Could I bring myself to go back into the ocean? Now that Danny was practically with me again I felt like the grudge that I had against the water was washed away on a high tide. And as I dipped my toes into the cool waters it was like I had reinstated that bond between the sea and I.
It seemed like I stood there for the longest time, swaying with the waves as they shifted my balance as they came in and out on the shore. I felt sprinkles of rain begin to fall about me, making little ripples in the salt water – I took notice of every single one of them. I was completely lost in the tranquility of the natural world as the rain began to fall harder and faster, drenching me completely.
“Jade…” I heard a voice from behind me. I froze entirely. I couldn’t move and therefore I couldn’t even bring myself to turn around. For a moment, I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me. “Girl, I’ll understand if you don’t want to look at me. I’m not the same man from before.” The familiar voice vindicated. But I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned to see Danny. My Danny.
He stood in the rain, soaked through as well. His skin was bare except for the pants he was wearing. It seemed as though he was trying to hide the metal and wiring as he kept his body turned slightly away from me. It hurt me that he thought I would care. And before I knew it, I was closing the 10 foot gap between us at a fast pace.
Danny didn’t have time to react as I threw myself against him and tossed my arms around his neck. I didn’t give him time to hesitate or pull away before our eyes were locked. There are those gorgeous sea foam eyes that I had longed for all this time.
“Jade…” Danny muttered sounding almost as if he were emotionally hurt, like he wanted to cry. I too felt as if I could weep with all of the raw emotion surging through me at that moment. And with all of those feelings coursing through me, I had to let them escape.
Leaning in closer to Danny, merely an inch away, I paused for only a moment this time. Then I did what should have been done in the last 8 years. As my lips pressed against his it was like pure electricity pulsating through us. This was nothing like our impulse in the stairwell. This kiss was long anticipated, matured – perfect.
At first, I could only taste the rain upon his lips, fresh and clean. But once that ice was broken, I tasted Danny’s own sweet flavor upon his tongue. Our mouths moved in perfect motion. It was like we didn’t even have to think about it, our bodies just knew what to do. As the kiss intensified, I grabbed the back of his neck with one hand and a handful of wet hair with the other. I felt his hands upon my back, pulling my body into his and holding me so tight against him that we could’ve became one.
I felt hot tears flowing down my cheeks as we slowly pulled apart. Neither of us wanted to end this moment, but our lungs were gasping for air, begging us to release our hold on the other. As I opened my eyes, I was met by Danny’s beautiful tear-filled gems. But where I was crying out of pure emotional release, Danny was upset for a completely different reason.
“Why now, girl? Why is it that I finally have you and I’m not even human enough to deserve you?” He cried, grasping my shoulders. “Jade, why did you let them do this to me? Why didn’t you make them stop?” I was shocked by his words – they were the last thing I expected. But then again, our emotions were out of control – this was just what Danny needed to get off his chest.
“But, Danny, you would’ve died.” I sobbed irrepressibly. He paused, seeing the hurt he was causing me and he habitually put a hand to my cheek to comfort me. Unfortunately it was a cold steel hand the caressed my cheek, sending Danny into another upsetting fit. This time there were no words, only tears, as he pulled me in close to him and cried against my neck.
“Danny, please don’t be upset. When I found you they already had you repaired. Before that moment, I had gone through 3 months of thinking you were dead. That was hell for me, Danny. So when I saw you, I was so relieved and thankful that I didn’t even care about your body.” I whimpered into his ear.
“But girl, I begged you not to let me live if this were the only way. Why didn’t you just take care of the situation like I asked you to? Why did you let me live knowing that I wouldn’t be fully human?” He sobbed against my skin.
“Because, Danny… I…” I continued to weep as the words escaped, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him what I had realized – what I had told Airika. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but those words just wouldn’t come out. “Danny… I… have feelings for you.” Even though those certain words wouldn’t escape, I supposed that was a good compromise. “I guess I always have, Danny. I just hadn’t realized it until you were gone.” With those words finally reaching his ear he pulled back to gaze into my eyes. There was a softness there that wasn’t before and before I knew it his lips were pressed hard against mine in another passionate display of love.
Danny… I love you. My mind said over and over as he held me with his lips. But those words were not as free as the rain that fell from the clouds above.
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